Monthly Archives: September 2008

ALVIN S. SIMPLETON ASK HOW DID YOU LIKE THE DEBATE

“Man, I tell you I tried but I just couldn’t watch the debate.” I opened the discussion with this observation.

Naturally, Leroy was the first to speak. “Debate, what debate?”

“Leroy,” Jabo looked at him, “ when you gon catch on to what’s happenin, huh?”

“Never mind, Leroy,” said Alvin. “So, you didn’t like the debate?”

“No, I did not,” I answered.

“How come, if you didn’t watch it, how come you can say you didn’t like it? No, wait a second, how much did you watch?”

“Bout five minutes,” I admitted.

“Five minutes, five minutes! So you don’t know, really, what they talked bout, huh, do you?” He had me there.

I squirmed in my chair. “No, I don’t, but those five minutes were boring, you hear me, boring.”

“Okay, my man,” said Alvin, “let me ask you this, whata you think bout the bailout mess.”

“Now you’re talking my game. I’ll tell you what I think…” I began but before I could finish, Jabo cut me off.

“I sho wish I was one of them COEs. Man, I’d make me rich, cause youall know I could run a company just like they did. Man, that’s a good way to make a whole lot of money.”

“It is CEO, and as I was about to say, I think the government shouldn’t give those guys any money. Hell, they’re the same ones who caused the mess in the first place.”

I was surprised when Alvin agreed with me. “I think they ought to let them sat in the shit they stirred up, that’s what I think.”

“What I want to know is,” Jabo interjected, “what happened to all that money they suppose to lost. I mean, man, where in hell did it go?”

“Somebody done got rich on our dollar,” said Alvin, “and I for think they ought to find out who the sobs are and throw their asses in jail. You know what I’m sayin. Let them suckers stay in jail for the rest of their natural lives.”

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ALVIN S. SIMPLETON IS HAPPY OBAMA WON

The barbershop was jumping. Alvin didn’t allow smoking or whiskey drinking, but today, he had allowed somebody to bring in a keg of beer. The noise had steadily increased from the time the shop opened and the four of us—Alvin, Jabo, Leroy, and me—arrived. Everybody was shouting, trying to be heard above music from the DVD player.

“This is truly a great day in the history of black folks in America,” shouted Jabo over the noise. “Man, we got to celebrate until we drop, cause this is truly a great day.”

“You got that right. We did it, we got that boy nominated,” Alvin was crowing along with the rest of us.

“Alvin,” I shouted, “what you mean ‘we,’ you voted for Clinton in the primaries.”

“That is neither here nor there. It don’t mean I ain’t for Obama. Like they say, we got to stick together to get them republicans outa office.” Alvin did something I hadn’t seen him do since we were young men running after women. He took a swig of beer.

Leroy shouted so loud everybody stopped talking. “Youall think we can get him elected president? Now that will be sumpin. A black president of these United States. Yes sir, that will be sumpin, it surely will.”

“Hey, you jive turkeys who didn’t think Obama was black enough, is he black enough for you now?” Alvin was grinning, and I knew he wouldn’t be cutting any hair that day.

I threw a damper on the festivals. “He won a scrimmage, now he got to win the game, and that ain’t gonna be easy.”

“I think Louis is right,” Alvin agreed, “I don’t care what nobody say, race gon play a big part in this election. Many white folks ain’t comfortable just thinkin bout a black man in the White House. And let’s not forget Michelle Obama. Can you see them accepting a strong, beautiful, intelligent black woman as first lady? I mean come on, let’s get real.”
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