Monthly Archives: October 2008

ALVIN TELLS LOUIS TO ADVERTISE HIS OTHER BLOG

“Man,” said Alvin, “how come you don’t want to let folks know bout that other internet thingy you do?”

“Whata you talking about, Alvin,” I said, knowing full well he was talking about my other blog at http://www.lawaillis.blogspot.com.

So, folks, I invite you to peruse my other blog.

Advertisements

Comments Off on ALVIN TELLS LOUIS TO ADVERTISE HIS OTHER BLOG

Filed under Uncategorized

ALVIN S. SIMPLETON SAYS LOUIS HAS COMPUTER ADDICTION

I confess I looked like I had lost my best friend but that was no reason for Alvin to rag on me.

“Louis, my man,” asked Leroy, “what is wrong. You sick?”

Jabo came over and felt my forehead. “He ain’t go no temperature.”

And then Alvin put in his three pennies. “Naw, he ain’t sick. He got the computer blues. He’s like a junky who needs a fix. He is crazy bout that computer.”

“F…you Alvin,” I said, “I don’t need no computer.”

“Okay, hot shot, since you been moping round here for what, two three days, tell’em what happened, go on, tell’em.”

“Okay, okay, my computer crashed two days ago and it’s in the shop,” I said.

“What,” Leroy inquired, “you threw your computer on the floor? How come?”

Jabo added: “Maybe he threw it against the wall. Did you throw it against the well, Louis?”

“Go on, explain it to them,” Alvin agitated.

“Okay, okay. I need my computer so I can read the newspapers from around the world. I mean it’s the first thing I do in morning before I eat breakfast. When it broke, I didn’t know what to do with myself.”

“So, said Leroy, “that’s why you been looking long in the mouth? Well, all I got to say is I don’t want no computer if it’s gon make me miserably like it done you.”

“Amen to that, Leroy,” said Jabo.

“Like I said,” interjected Alvin, “you a computer junky in need of a fix. Man, I be glad when that computer get fixed cause you ain’t no ball of joy to be round these days.”

Comments Off on ALVIN S. SIMPLETON SAYS LOUIS HAS COMPUTER ADDICTION

Filed under Uncategorized

ALVIN S. SIMPLETON SAYS VOTE NOW!

Alvin stood back and admired his work on the homemade sign leaning against the mirror behind the barber chair.

The sign was a piece of cardboard tacked onto an inch wide, three feet long piece of plywood. In large black letters written with a marker it read:

VOTE!
EARLY
VOTING
STARTED
YESTERDAY

“Alvin,” I asked, “what’s with the sign?”

“Yeah, Alvin, did you vote, yet?” Leroy said.

“Yes, I did, for your information. I practiced my civil duty and voted the minute the polls opened. Now, have you clowns voted, huh?”

None of us said anything. Leroy looked like he didn’t understand, which is his usual expression.

Jabo tried to appear to be thinking.

Me? I stared at the sign as if I didn’t understand what Alvin was doing.

“I thought so,” he said, lifting the sign off the shelf, “you clowns have argued all this time bout how you like Obama, and yet, you sure slow gettin in the votin booth.”

We followed him outside and watched him stick the sign in the yard in front of the shop. We followed him to the sidewalk, and we all turned and looked at the sign. It was crude but effective.

“I’m outa here,” I said and started walking down the street toward my car.

“What, where you goin?” Alvin asked.

Jabo and Leroy, catching on, followed me to the car.

“Hey, you clowns, you gon leave me here by myself? Where youall goin?”

I looked back at him. “We taking your advice. We going to vote.”

“Man, I can’t close my shop right now. I might have a customer.” He looked lonely standing on the sidewalk watching us.

We kept walking.

“Wait a minute, just wait a damn minute, and I’ll come with youall.” He turned, walked to the shop, shut the door, locked it and followed us.

Jabo stopped. “Alvin, where you goin. I thought you voted already.”

“Okay, so I lied. I was plannin on votin tomorrow. I just wanted to make you clowns aware of early votin.” He explained. “Wait a minute, I have to do something.”

We stopped and waited. He went back inside the shop and hung a sign in the door window:

CLOSED GONE VOTING

Comments Off on ALVIN S. SIMPLETON SAYS VOTE NOW!

Filed under politics

ALVIN S. SIMPLETON TALKS ABOUT MUGABE, AGAIN

Jabo, Leroy, and I were discussing the presidential campaign and how Palin was dogging Obama and trying to put some phone hurt on him when Alvin rattle his newspaper. We stopped talking, thinking he had something to say about the campaign.

“What did tell you guys, huh? Didn’t I say Mugabe won’t bout to share power with nobody, huh, didn’t I?”

Jabo spoke before I could open my mouth. “That you did, Alvin my man, that you did. And we appreciate you bring our attention to the mother land.”

“Ha, ha, funny, Jabo. They fightin over how to divvy up the ministries cause Mugabe don’t want to give Tsvangirai no kinda power. Man, the other day Mugabe got mad cause our ambassador played golf with Tsvangirai. He think they conspiring against him. Hell, he may be right.”

I didn’t understand why Alvin was so caught up in what was happening in Africa, but I added what I could to the discussion. “Well, Alvin, old buddy, things might get worse before they get better. You know Mbeki, who was mediating the dispute, is not longer president of South Africa. That throws another monkey wrench into the mess in Zimbabwe.”

“Yeah, it sure do,” said Leroy, “man them Africans ain’t doin so good, are they?”

“Leroy,” answered Jabo, “as usual, you don’t know what you talkin bout. They havin a little trouble in Zimbabwe and big trouble in South Africa but that don’t mean the whole continent in trouble. Man, look at the Middle East, they got trouble governing themselves, too.”

“You right, Jabo, now could we get back to the election,” I suggested. “As I was about to say, Palin keep calling Obama a terrorist…”

“No, Louis, now git it right,” Jabo interjected, “she said he associate with a terrorist, meaning that fellow who did some blowing up things back in the sixties when Obama was just a boy.”

“Anyway,” I said, “it is danger3ous what she is doing. Look, some crazy might get the idea that she suggesting he go after Obama. At one of speeches, somebody in the audience yelled ‘kill him,’ and that is dangerous. I tell you I fear for Obama’s life.”

“Amen, to that,” Alvin agreed, “but all we can do is pray that nothin happens to him.”

Comments Off on ALVIN S. SIMPLETON TALKS ABOUT MUGABE, AGAIN

Filed under politics