Monthly Archives: April 2010

ALVIN S. SIMPLETON SAYS PLEASE, MOURN FOR COMMON SENSE

As the philosopher of Common Sense, I’m always on the lookout for anything affecting it. So, I was somewhat sad when I received the following article from a friend. It would be nice if we could revive him.

An Obituary printed in the London Times – Interesting and sadly rather true.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

– Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
– Why the early bird gets the worm;
– Life isn’t always fair;
– and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

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ALVIN S. SIMPLETON SAYS SOCIAL NETWORKING IS SO 21ST CENTURY

“Social Networking – It’s the way the 21st century communicates now” (http://www.whatissocialnetworking.com/)

Until a few months ago, I wasn’t interested in any of the “social networking sites” on the Internet. I thought such websites were for young people, especially those growing up in this the 21st century.

In my youth, social networking (a term I only recently learned though it was coined in 1950 by professor named J. A. Barnes) was hanging out in front of the grocery store or in the poolroom swapping lies. No women were permitted. I’m sure women in the beauty parlors and other places social networked, and yes swapped lies about us men, only they called it gossiping.

I became interested in social networking when relatives and friends of mine invited me to join Facebook. I’m having fun but I’m also frustrated because I have to spend an hour or more figuring out how to play a game on Facebook or upload a picture or do some of the many other things I’m suppose to be able to do.

I’ve already experienced the dreaded “forgot my password.” On other sites, if you forget your password, you can request it be emailed to you. On Facebook, there is or was no way to get the old password, and to change your password you must know the old password.

The philosopher of common sense advises Facebook to fix it.

Fear: with the million of Facebook users, my greatest fear is I’ll have so many friends that I’ll become paralyzed trying to decide who to contact.

As much as I enjoy Facebook, I think we may have lost something in the disappearance of face to face social networking.

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ALVIN S. SIMPLETON SAYS LEGISLATORS WASTING TIME

Old Andy Jackson, a son of Tennessee who was once President of these United States, is probably turning over in his grave so disturbed is he at what the Tennessee legislators are doing, or, rather, trying to do.

The politicians in Nashville here in Tennessee suppose to be making laws what are good for us citizens in this great state. Instead, like some other states, they fighting a battle the south and the states lost a long time ago.

Moving through the legislature is a bill called “The Tennessee Health Freedom Act” that declares we citizens in Tennessee have a right to reject the federal law requiring us to buy insurance.

Here’s a clue for them: Federal law trumps state law every day of the week. Hey, your attorney general done told you that but you aint listening.

Why is Andy Jackson turning over in his grave? Cause he thought he done settled the question of nullification in 1832. South Carolina challenged the tariff acts of 1828 and 1832, claiming that they were not binding on the state. In December 1832, Jackson issued a proclamation that in effect denied South Carolina’s claim of the right to nullify federal law.

Now if that aint enough to open the eyes of them politicians in Nashville, I remind them the south lost the Civil War, which settled the question of a state’s right to supersede federal law.

Why are the politicians in Nashville doing something so unproductive? Hey, it’s an election year. Need I say more?

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ALVIN S. SIMPLETON SAYS SOME FOLKS JUST WON’T QUIT

Them folks what wants creationism or intelligent design, or what ever they callin it now days, are still at it. Since the court has found that singling out evolution for criticism in public school violates the constitutional provision separating church and state, the anti-evolutionists tryin to use the debate on global warming to get their anti-evolution views taught in the public schools. They using the principle of academic freedom: claiming that global warming and intelligent design should be debated on an equal basis with other scientific theories in public schools. Course they mean on an equal basis with evolution, cause, you see, they say evolution aint a fact but a theory.

Wake up you anti-evolutionists! Evolution is a scientific not a theory. What you got to do and what the court has said you have not done is present solid evidence that your view of how the universe was made is based on science. Merely saying it is does not make it so.

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Filed under church, Education, politics, Religion, society, state politics

ALVIN S. SIMPLETON SAYS HAPPY EASTER

Although much of the hatred and violence in the world is done in the name of religion, I still believe religion has something to offer in our quest for peace.

HAPPY EASTER TO EVERYONE.

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Filed under church, Easter, Religion, society